I keep thinking about how much music has done for me. I'm sure it the same for many of you but I thought I would just write about it and share.
Landon and I met in 2012 on a blind date and the first thing we had in common was our taste in music and that did it for me. I remember getting into his car and hearing a familiar song and knew he couldn't be too bad if he was listening to it. My mom and dad always gave me a hard time about my music choices because I like metal and emo/angsty music, I remember my mother making a comment to me soon after I started dating Landon (a cute clean cut man) saying "What would Landon think of you if he heard this music" to my reply "Nothing, he listens to it to!"
Landon and I play a game whenever we go into the mountains or night drives (which we did a lot of when we dated and before having a baby) We let the shuffle take over and we tell each other a story or a memory that we have associated with each and every song that comes on. Its always been fun to hear what things or experiences we went through that may not have just come up in a regular conversation. Those talks and drives are something I'll always cherish and it is all thanks to music.
Another thing I love about music is that the words each verse sing can mean something entirely different to each person listening. While going through our struggle with infertility the song "Float On" by Modest mouse could make me cry and cry. It was always a reminder to me that through any trial we could get by and just "Float On" the song talks about people and their small trials but how they just smile and don't let it take them down. I still love this song so much and cry to this day hearing it. "23" by Jimmy Eat World is another song that really gets to me lately. Here are a few lines from that song that really resonant with me "no one else will know these lonely dreams, no one else will know that part of me" Infertility felt like such a lonely thing and so sometimes it was just a "lonely dream" of mine. The line "amazing still it seems, I'll be 23, I won't always love these selfish things" stands out to me because I finally got pregnant and found out 4 days before my 23rd birthday, as most people know, being a parent is the most selfless job, kids take first priority so for me it was like the song was written about me and how I would be 23 soon and would be giving up my selfish lifestyle. I recently attended both of these bands in concert and I'm sure anyone who has been to a concert can agree the fire you feel within during live music is a beautiful thing, especially when they play a song that is so meaningful to you. I feel as though I have a sort of "high" after seeing a band I love and for days I listen to their albums on repeat just to relive those moments.
Sadly I myself am not a musically talented person and it is something that has always bothered me. I was never put into lessons for any type of instrument and so I feel silly saying that music has saved me many times. That being said I want nothing more than to pass my love of music on to my son and see him heal from heartbreak and get through the trials he may have by playing an instrument or listening to the words of a song. I try my best to sing to him everyday and often find myself in tears from the beauty of the lyrics and I hope he appreciates my efforts. There is nothing I love more than drumming to a song with his little feet and seeing him smile, or singing to him and watching him focus right on me and try to understand the words I say.
I encourage everyone to go to a concert if you haven't before, listen carefully to the lyrics of your favorite song and think of how you can relate, or try playing the "music game" that Landon and I play on drives. It is so much fun to see where you have been and who you are because of music.
